Dear Weston,

**Better late then never - right?**

May 2010 - Newborn

June 2010 - 1 month old

July 2010 - 2 months old

August 2010 - 3 month sold

September 2010 - 4 months old

 

October 2010 - 5 months old

November 2010 - 6 months old

December 2010 - 7 months old

January 2011 - 8 months old

February 2011 - 9 months old

March 2011 - 10 months old

April 2011 - 11 months old

May 2011 - 1 year old

June 2011 - 13 months old

July 2011 - 14 months old

August 2011 - 15 months old

September 2011 - 16 months old

October 2011 - 17 months old

November 2011 - 1 1/2 years old

December 2011 - 19 months old

January 2012 - 20 months old

February 2012 - 21 months old

March 2012 - 22 months old

April 2012 - 23 months old

May 2012 - 2 years old

June 2012 - 25 months old

July 2012 - 26 months old

August 2012 - 27 months old

September 2012 - 28 months old

October 2012 - 29 months old

November 2012 - 2 1/2 years old

December 2012 - 31 months old

January 2013 - 32 months old

 February 2013 - 33 months old

March 2013 - 34 months old

April 2013 - 35 months old

 May 2013 - 3 years old

 

My dear, sweet Weston. You are now three years old. It's amazing to me to think back to before you came and made your daddy and me into a family and realize just how empty my life was. Life was simpler - easier, but it lacked so much vibrancy.  You came into the world and you cranked the volume of our life up and we've been jamming out ever since. You are the reason I was first called “Mom.” A title I will treasure all the days of my life.

 

I remember when I realized I was pregnant with you. I wasn’t scared- I was excited because I knew your soul would be a great one. When you were smaller than a pea I’d sit at my desk, gripping my then unstretched stomach, imagining myself sending you all the love and beautiful energy I could muster up… I just wanted to encapsulate you with everything safe, beautiful, and sweet. And you know what? I think it worked. You came out simply magical, and you’ve been the blessing that started my cascade of blessings. Before you, I had no idea what it was to love fully or unconditionally (although, I was pretty close to that with your daddy). You showed me that I had the strength to weather every storm just to see your next giggle, to get through the longest work days just to feel your touch, and to go days on end with no sleep just to know your belly was full.

  

And today you’re turning three. And like other boys and girls your age you sometimes make mistakes. We all make them, my Weston, I say to you, as you follow your lowered gaze and land on the floor with anger and resignation, and you get all upset with yourself and tell me that you can't. How can that be, when you’re the most entertaining show I get to watch, the most interesting topic I’ve studied, the deepest gratitude, fear and happiness I’ve ever felt? It’s a strange feeling to know with such certainty what is going on in another human being’s mind, to be able to stare straight into their heart.

And while you are sometimes frustrating - mostly because we are so alike and stubborn that we often butt heads - you are certainly never boring.  I’ve learned so much from you about myself, about parenting, and about ways to see the world.

 

I see myself in you when we’re out shopping, I’m rushing to get home but you suggest “let’s stay and explore”.

 

I see myself in you when you feel things way too deeply.

 

I see myself in you when you raise your eyebrows in search of approval.

 

I see myself in you when you are ready to give all that you’ve got and you’re inevitably disappointed when met with far less enthusiasm by those who simply do not feel as deeply.

 

I see myself in you when you hear the music and instinctively start tapping your foot and bobbing your head.

 

I see myself in you when you happily and deliberately goof around just to make someone else laugh.

 

I see myself in you when your eyes light up and your imagination is ignited by the books we read to you.

 

I see myself in you when you’re excited about having learned a new word.

 

I see myself in you when you feel sorry for both the good and the bad guy in the story.

 

I see myself in you when you excitedly ask for pancakes for breakfast - even though you've already had them three times that week.

 

I see myself in you when you worry about unknowingly breaking some unwritten rule.

 

I see myself in you when you freak out about your sleeve or sock getting wet - or your hands are dirty.

I see myself in you when you meticulously arrange and rearrange the things in your life to conform to whatever standard you hold in your mind. 

 

The familiar and unfamiliar in you amaze me equally. I want to spend the rest of my life in amazement.  There’s no way in the world I could ever have been half the woman I am today without your lessons and love. So, for your birthday, aside from a few toys and a colorful cake, I promise to keep growing for you and with you. Forever.

Love you to the moon and back little man!

Love, your Mommy