A Reminder

Being a working mom is a balancing act… a very delicate and often times stressful balancing act.  The past month has probably been the most challenging month of motherhood yet. I think a lot of it has to do with added stress at work – for both Tyler and myself. It also doesn’t help that Weston has been cutting three teeth, learned to walk, and has been battling either a head cold or season allergies all in the last couple weeks. There are some days that seem never ending… and that’s before I’ve even left work. After a busy commute home, I arrive to a messy house and a hungry baby. The scale never seems to balance it’s self out. I’m worn out – and I’m frazzled. For the first time since I’ve been a mom I’ve actually felt anger/dread when I hear Weston crying after we’ve put him to bed. I’ve never regretting having Weston or being a mom – but I’ve had moments recently where I was wishing for a day off… or even just an evening off.

Sadly, it took a great tragedy to help me reset my focus. One of the nurses I work with lost her baby boy over the weekend – on Friday he was healthy and happy, and by Sunday night he had past away. Her son had just turned two years old. Having a son of my own really puts this loss in perspective. I think of all the joy and laughter he has brought into my life – all the fulfillment and meaning I have now. Before I knew it, tears were running down my face as I thought of what a hole would be left without Weston in my life. Being a mom is not always easy – and being a working mom is even harder. But I realized that I had been weighing the experiences in my life incorrectly. I’ve let things weigh me down more than they should. I needed this experience to help me step back and realize that a messy house and a fussing baby aren’t the worst things that could happen to me. I will continue to have stressful days at work – and days that seem never ending, but those days aren’t as frequent as all the great days I get to have being Weston’s mom. I’m adjusting the scale in my life and making sure my mom side is always outweighing my working-mom side.